This is Hilarious

101 Ways to annoy people...here are my top 25...I will send more tomorrow. If you think of one that is not on here, leave it with me and I will post tomorrow! Jamie...if you read this...I hope it helps your bad mood because it helped mine!!!LOL

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage.
3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. Speak only in a "robot" voice.
6. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".
7. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.
8. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

9. Sniffle incessantly.
10. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
11. Name your dog "Dog.

12. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
13. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
14. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."
15. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."
16. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.
17. Practice making fax and modem noises.
18. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.
19. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

20. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

WWE

We are going to Champaign for to see WWE live on Friday, just got an email and guess who won't be there...John Cena!!!! GRRRRR
What is the point in going now? If anyone can explain why he won't be there I would appreciate it!

Thanks!

Trip to Florida

Here are a few pics from the voyage to Florida and back. Just wanted to thank everyone for the calls and thoughts! Keep praying because my GPA has a lot to learn and so does everyone else!

Since it was 70 degrees thought I would introduce Claire to the world of Gelatto...MMM Watermelon
Auntie Cheryl introduced me to the life of ring pops! She used it as a binky...how funny.

My poor face with rash...dunno what caused this.

Edible Arrangement!!!MMMMMM

Zoey telling me she missed and loved me!!!! AWE!

Arrangements

The funeral for Faith Marie South will be Saturday from at 12:00 with a visitation starting at 10:00 at Heritage Garden Funeral Home in Niceville, Florida

Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts and kind words

Jessica

I'll Miss You Grandma!

Grandma Faith took her last breath this morning at 6:15. It was the most releaving moment anyone could ask for. She was so tramatized and it was time for her to make her tranisition with the Lord. The nurse last night asked me to take my grandpa home for some rest because she thought that he was the one holding her spirit there. She told me in confidence that she would pass when he leaves...and she did. I got the call this morning and brought my Grandpa back to the hospital. Please pray for my mom, she is trying to be so strong and she needs to break down!!!! She wouldn't even come to the hospital because she didn't want to see her mom that way. I didn't make or pressure her so keep her in your thoughts and pray that she can have mourning that she needs and be comfortable with it. As the oldest child I think that it is very hard for her! I will post arrangements later and let you know. Until then,

GOD Bless
Jessica Collins

Update on me - We need prayers!

For all of you who have or haven't heard, my Grandmother, Faith South, which would be my mother's mom...Monday morning had an anurism (sorry don't know how to spell) in her head that pushed her brain over to the left side of her head and disconnected her brain stem. The damage is terminal. She is only 71 years old. Chris, Claire and myself flew down here to be with my family during her last few days. So we have shut off her lifesupport and it is only a matter of time. She is on morphine to help with the pain. My grandfather is not handleing the situation well at all and neither is my mother. She is trying to be as strong as she can but it is hard to see your mother/grandmother lying there waiting to tranisition on with the Lord. So as of right now, her bloood pressure has dropped from 188/95 to 121/60 and her kidneys are shut down. The doctor said it is only a matter of moments and should happen this evening or morning. They said that they could do surgery to relieve some pressure and she would live but in a vegitative state. SHe did not want that per her living will so no surgery. If anyone out there reading this has any explanation for why this happened or any miracle that they can try out that may save her life, let me know. If anyone knows what will happen next let me know. I feel lost and I haven't the words to explain how I feel. I cannot believe that she was so healthy and all of a sudden, she is terminal. WTF? I feel like to whole situation is nothing but an unanswered disaster! So Please pray for my family, if you wish to pray for a miracle or her to transition on with the Lord or my mother or whatever...just pray! He is listening, sometimes he just doesn't respond the way we want... I will post more later...

Jessica Collins

Cedar Rapids

Chris, Claire and I decided to travel from cold to colder. We are in Cedar Rapids this weekend with our BFF"s Eric and Stephanie Root for the weekend. On the way here we watched our temp gauge in the car keep dropping and the snow, holy cow. There has to be at least 15 inches on the ground. So I will not be around to blog this weekend but will catch everyone up on our trip when I get home.

Samee should be home by now and she does have pics of Drake on her facebook page.

Jess

22-Year-Old Sells Virginity Online -- and Feds Can't Do a Thing to Stop Her

WOW!!! Unbelievable. If i would have only known...



A 22-year-old woman is selling her virginity online — offering her body to bidders nationwide in an auction that reportedly has netted a $3.7 million offer — and the law isn't doing a thing to stop her.

Here is the link

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,480037,00.html

Obama Family moving in

The Today show this morning was all about the Obama's getting ready to move in. They had an interior decorator taking control. Out of all the theme's to choose, they go for the Hollywood Theme? HUH? I am pretty sure that would not be my first choice. The decorator said he would start on the children's rooms first. I would have a hay day with that. Do you know how much the president is alloted to redecorate! Holy Cow Bat man. I could by a big ole house for the amount they spend to remodel. So below are a few ideas I had for them to remodel with!

I could cook here. I love the layout!

Pottery Barn! Very delicate.

OHHH LALA!!! This is where the magic would happen!

Very nice, not sure where to go #2 but it is nice.

Love the play room! Very bright

Austin Powers would love to come and visit!

Study...the planet maybe!

I thought I did a great job and I think the Obama's would be proud and take my designs into consideration. If you think of something I may need to add or that you would let me know!

Drake Ryan Herdes

7lbs 3 oz...19.5 inches long. Congratulations Samee and Dustin!

Samantha (Cummins) Herdes

She is at a 5 and was just introduced to the wonderful world of Epidural!

American IDOL

Will this be our next American Idol...I doubt it! She sure had Simon and Randy on her side but she got Paula in a frenzie when she decided to battle Kara!! I thought it was hilarious...
11 out of the18 that showed auditioning last night received a ticket to Hollywood....will this season be different?

Biggest loser review

Last night was extrememly dramatic...what can I say, it had to of been the hardest decision ever! The 2 people who needed to stay the most were below the yellow line. So unfortunatley we said goodbye to the white team. I know the point is to work hard as a team and from home but I do believe he has worked harder than anyone on the show and Stella didn't even get a chance. Then Joelle has the oppertunity to be the laziest one and she gets to stay!!!! I hate this situation and I think that Stella should have a chance...hopefully they will bring the 9 back later in the show.
In addition to: Daniel worked extrememly hard and for him to loose only 3 lBS...yikes. I am really upset...now for the good stuff!

What was your deal last night BOB...you freaked out...I will admit that I loved it though! Joelle should get the boot! I hope he pushes her so far she feels like quiting.

BABY D

Just to keep everyone up to date, Samantha Cummins Herdes, her water broke this morning so we should have BABY D very soon!

Some New Years Eve pics

Get away from my drink spinner!

Cheryl, Jill, Dora, ME

Guess What

I really thankful for DVR because Biggest Loser is on Tuesday nights and now we have a new addition!!!! Season Premier BABY! There is a new judge that is supposedly giving Simon a run for his money! Love IT

Heart attach

So I almost had a heart attack today when I tried to call my husband and no answer. He was suppose to take Claire to the sitter and at noon I called the sitter to see if Claire was there and she said no! I freaked out because I could not get ahold of Chris...so I called Jared to see if he had noticed Chris's truck at home and he said yes. So I am thinking that something is wrong because he was not responding to my calls and Claire hadn't been to Jamie's yet. Finally, Jamie called me and said that Chris was pulling in! I told her to have him call me right away. I broke down on him because I was so SCARED! I have never felt that way before...ever!
So now I ask, how long do you wait or what do you do when you are paniked. Should I have sent someone to check on them...do I wait...what do you do? Is instinct enough?

Jess

How to get rid of.....

I am intrigued by this website, on how to get rid of anything!!!!
Where was this when we were 16? How to get rid of hickeys, stretch marks, gym memberships...sorry mom...bugs, smells, spots,

IT IS UNBELIEVABLE! I AM IN LOVE! IT IS ALMOST AS ADDICTING AS BLOGGING!

http://www.howtogetridofstuff.com/

Let me know by posting a comment what your favorite "how to get rid of is!"

WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW

Chris, Jared Wagner, and myself will be heading to Champaign the end of the month to see John Cena and Chris Jericho in action, I can hardly wait...so last night Jared stopped by to check out the tickets and they decided it would be awesome for Chris to wear his mullet wig...I couldn't quit laughing and neither could Jared so this is how it turned out!

Biggest LOOSER!

Okay, so last night was the season premier...all I have to say is BOO!

How dissapointing is it that 9 people went home. I understand that they have the chance to come back...BUT how are they suppose to learn after only 1 week at the ranch! And how dare them split Jerry and Estella up...I cried on that one!!!

ORANGE TEAM...what can I say, a combined total weight of almost 800 lbs. WOW...how inspiring is it that 2 friends are in it like this...Daniel lost 30lbs his first week.

Jerry, after fainting because his blood pressure dropped so low, lost 25 lbs in one week at age 65!!! Rock on Jerry...

Now...Ron lost a whopping 32 lbs in one week...holy smokes! I want to loose 32 lbs and I can't do that in 4 months...GO RON!

The dissapointment I have is letting that many people go home right off the bat, yes they have the chance to come back but the point of the show is to lock them up at the ranch and teach them a different lifestyle and having them one week and sending them home...I just think it was to early!
Please let me know your thoughts, thumbs up or down?

TONIGHT!!!

Guess what starts tonight?

New season of Biggest loser! Suppose to be the heaviest one yet.

Claire and her first Tune up.

Chris and my Step Dad Dave decided to work on the vehicles on Sat. Claire was getting restless so I took her out there to let her watch, I didn't know she was going to be so intrigued to help. I had a fit when she got dirty but Dave told me to leave her alone! I am still trying to get Grease out of her nails.

Claire handing papa the lugnuts

Claire helping PAPA

DUNNO

Notice Chris is under the truck! I love this one!

New Years Eve

I had the joy of celebrating the New Year at my Bro's house with all the gang...Dora, Jill, Cheryl, Ray Jeremy and myself...what an interesting evening...Jill and I made it a point to stay up past 4am. About 10 till 5 we decided we had enough and headed to the house!I would like to see Ray top that one!